Just some things I want to remember...

- Carter's newborn onesies were the smallest ones we could find for Tricia, she is just now growing out of them after 6 weeks.

- She was on the regular similiac and then we moved her recently to the orange label for fussiness and gas. I am starting to think though that she might be ok on the regular but she does have some tummy issues so I guess we will stick with the regualr. I do put mylicon drops in a few of her bottles because it seem to help her also

- She likes her baths! She is not happy when she is out of the tub and cold though.

- She only had a small diaper rash a week after she came home but it cleared right up with destin!

- She likes to be warm. She will wake up in the middle of the night whimpering because her legs are uncovered because she likes to kick her legs ALOT. So at night we are putting her in body suits so she stays warm.

- She is eating anywhere from 4-5 ounces now. She started wanting 5 right around her 6 week birthday but now she isn't really eating that at every feeding. Maybe only two or three a day. Some feedings right now she will barely eat 2-3 ounces. But sometimes then she will wake up an hour later wanting more. Crazy little girl for sure!!

- She has a rash or baby acne on her skin that just developed over the last few days. I thought it might be heat rash but it could be either. It seems to have spread down her face to her neck and chest a bit so I'm just not sure though!!

- I still haven't done anything on her scrapbook. I lost some of my pictures that I took weekly of my belly so I'm not happy at all and want to cry about that so I am almost too depressed to print the pics because I don't have them all like i should. But I'm hoping to do some work on it over Labor Day weekend. I'm going to get the pics printed here soon hopefully.

- I go back to work on Tuesday. I have so many emotions it's not even funny right now. I want to stay home with her so bad because I just think she needs me and I know her. And i know how she is and what to do with her and how to make her feel better. I'm just so worried. But financially we can't afford that. I don't know what we can even afford even if I do go back!! I'm just a huge stress ball right now...

Birth Story

**I wrote this back a few days after I came home**

I was having some pretty severe upper back pain since like July 1st. It wasn't horrible but everyone once in a while it would get bad but i would take Tylenol and it would go away. Well on Tuesday the 6th I couldn't take it anymore and went to the doctor. They gave me some percocet and sent me home and told me to take off the next two days from work. They did bloodwork and said they would call me if they saw anything. I laid down and about 2 hrs later my doc calls and tells me that my blood work showed I had pre eclampsia and that I needed to start heading to the hospital. That they would call and let them know I was on my way. And oh yeah by the way because of it no epidural. Of course I freaked out. Then 10 mins later get a call back again from the doctor and they said you need to go now because your levels are severe and you could have a seizure. So off we went to the hospital.

They started me on magnesium and got me induced with a foley ball and cervidel around 7 pm. It was really painful with the contractions and I'm pretty glad the magnesium made me feel so out of it. Around 3 pm on Weds they started saying I was around 9 cm and that I would be pushing soon. Then a resident came in and told me that I was only 6-7 not 9, after another doc and 2 nurses had told me I was. Everyone was pissed at the resident but then the doc came in and confirmed I was only 6-7. I did end up taking some pain meds at that time since I was only that far along they would allow me to have some. After that things did progress pretty quick and by about 8 pm I was back up to 9. So they started getting everything ready but my contractions were still so far apart - like 6-7 mins. They kept saying if they would just get closer together I would be able to get her out in like 1/2 hr. Finally the doc came in and they really had me start pushing which was so painful but i had a great nurse and she really helped me through it. I pushed for about 3 hours or so. The doc finally decided that things just weren't going quick enough so they got out the vacuum. They tried twice with the vacuum before they got it to work and they did end up having to cut me down there as well. Thank god she was as small as she was. But she was perfect.

I lost a lot of blood after delivery and they were having a hard time getting it to stop and I still don't remember a lot from that time. I do know my blood pressure dipped pretty low and they were worried about me. They kept me down in labor and delivery overnight so they could keep a closer eye on me rather than moving me to post partum right away. And from there things just have been not good with my health - I was on the magnesium for 24 hrs after her birth and then we thought things were ok. Then my blood work came back and I ended up needing calcium and a blood transfusion. Then I started to get that upper back pain again - turns out that was gall stones. Then my liver enzyme levels still aren't right and my blood pressure keeps going up. So they finally let me go but I do have to go back for blood work tomorrow.

2 weeks :*(

So my surgery went well last week. Still having some pain here and there but they got everything out. I was doing pretty good right after and felt pretty fine. Just a lot of pain in my stomach area but the motrin they prescribed helped a lot.

So what else is new...I'm just going to list these because it's easier for me...

- I gave up breastfeeding. She wasn't latching on and she was having some tummy issues. I thought it might be from breastfeeding and formula feeding. I think she was getting confused. I hurt to give it up but I feel ok about it. I really wanted to go at least 6 weeks but then I had to have this surgery also and I wouldn't have been able to anyways during that time. So it was 4 weeks but some times I'm still sad about it. Plus my production wasn't going up, in fact in seemed to be going down and I was having to use more and more formula.

-The baby is doing great. We did take her for 1 month pics and they were absoultely adorbale. I can't wait to do some family pics in a few months. Around Christmas time we are doing those and we are going to include my sister, her hubby and my parenst as well.

-Tricia is a lot more alert and awake now. She hasn't started really cooing or anything yet. Ben's cousin had a baby 11 days before me and her baby started that about 2 weeks ago. So I wonder when Tricia will start. I hate to be one of those mom's that compares their child to others but I can't help but wonder.

-I can't believe I only have 2 more weeks before I go back to work. I want to cry. I miss work more than anything because I love the people I work with and it will be nice to see everyone but I can't help but wonder how I will be away from her everyday :( I just hope I can handle it. I know I will be wreck when I go back the first few days.

-In prep for me going back to work and being away from her everyday, my sister took her all day today. My sis wanted practice with her anyways alone and I wanted to see what it was like. I miss her so much though :( Its too quiet and I'm bored without her. I just miss being able to look at her.

-Ben is having a meeting with his district mgr at work tomorrow so we will see what he wants. HE was supposed to get a raise and promotion to mgr months ago and it never happened. Tomorrow he might get promoted, or he might get demoted. He doesn't really know. I'm doubtful that he will get promoted but I'm also very angry with that company. He's been doing the managers job at his store for months now and they havne't even paid him for doing that work with the promise that it was coming "soon". So at this point I could care less if they do promote him because he's just so tired of doing all this work and not getting paid for it. So we will see...

- And last but not least, I love being a mommy :) I don't know what I would do without her but some days it's still hard to believe I have her and she's all mine. I just love her so much and she's my world!

I think that's all for now...still gotta come back with the birth story and pics...

Issues Issues

I still need to come back and post pics and the birth story but here's an update on what's going on now. Don't read on if you don't have a strong stomach.

So last Friday and Saturday I was having some bleeding issues - I was having these huge gushes of blood and then passing some larger clots. So after talking to the doctor 3 times between the two days I finally went to the ER on Saturday. Luckily we were at my parents house (we were making dinner for them and my sis and her hubby to say thank you for everything) and there is a satellite ER for AGMC right by my parents house in Bath. So we went there and I was in and out in a hour. They wanted to do an ultrasound but I would have needed to go to the main campus to get that done and after talking to my doc they decided not to send me. But my blood work came back fine and my exam went fine as well. So they had me go back to the doc on Monday. So Monday I see the doc and they want to do an ultrasound but again everything else was looking fine. So Weds this week I went for the ultrasound - it's what they thought - part of the placenta was still inside of me. I couldn't get in to see anyone Weds so I had to go back Fri (hello 3 times in 1 week!!). So now I get to have surgery on Tues to remove this part of the placenta that is still in there. It's about the size of a nickel. So they are going to knock me out for this because they coudl use a local and a numbing agent but I guess people still tend to squirm around a lot and because it's so precise what they are trying to do its easier to knock people out and just get it done. So I have to go at 1:30 pm on Tuesday and it's outpatient. So I will be in recovery for around 3 hrs and then I will get to come home. They said to take it easy that day but I should be back up and going on Weds.

Still waiting to hear what they are going to do about my gall stones. I just got the report sent over to my doc so hopefully next week I will hear something!!