Doc Appt Yesterday

So I started experiencing a fair amount of pain on Weds and I decided to make an appointment with the fertility doc because she said watch for lots of pain or severe bloating - both of which I was having. So I got an appointment yesterday morning. This may be TMI - so stop reading if you don't want to know. She did an ultrasound and she could see that I am actively bleeding right now but nothing is coming out. She decided to try to put a catheter up in my uterus to be sure that she could get in. With relatively little trouble, she was able to get in (compared to previous times she has had to). So that is the question, why can she get in and nothing is coming out. I have had some bleeding since, which I would say is more heavy than I would think would be related to the procedure she did yesterday but I'm going to watch it. She said within a week I need to call her and let her know what has happened. If I don't think I have had a full on period, then she is going to check me and she if she still sees bleeding, and if so, she will need to do a procedure to remove the blood because it will keep distending my uterus each month which as I'm sure you can guess is bad. If this does happen, then she will need to put me on constant birth control until if/when we are ready for more kids so that i don't continue to have period with it having no where to go. If/when we are ready for more kids, it will mostly likely have to be through artificial insemination and I will have to have a c-section when I'm due. This was a lot to take in yesterday and I just had a huge breakdown last night about it.

I'm not sure where to even start. I never thought this is the way things would end up. I thought it would get better, and I guess for all purposes I'm "ok" because I'm ovulating and my lining is getting thick and thin, but it's not ok for me to have a period because I can't get it out. TO know we will have to rely on medicine to get pregnant just sucks because it was so easy for us the first time. Plus we will have to PAY to even get pregnant. Are we even financially ready to do that - because I'm pretty sure it's not covered by insurance.

Then to find out that I will have to have a c-section doesn't make me happy either. I had such a complicated birth with Tricia and I didn't really get to hold her at first which devastated me and still does to this day. And it will be the same when I have another one? Is it bad that I want to tell everyone that no one gets to hold her until I get to when I get out of recovery - even if it means that it's a couple of hours? Then my husband told me last night that he doesn't want another one right now. I would gladly get pregnant this minute if it was up to me. He said maybe some time next year. I'm just so tired of all the problems. All the unexpected money that we have spent on trying to fix this. And most of it is because of the D&C I had to have back in August of last year from the retained product - they messed up during my surgery and created a "false path" that is creating this issue  they believe. It's just so much to take in right now. My husband has been great - but last night he gave me some hard truths that I was not ready for. But now we need to move on from here and figure out where we go.